In the twilight, I see..

A few years ago.. or possibly 45, when I was in high school, I entered a speech contest sponsored by The Optimist Club. I wasn’t very confident and I didn’t love the thought of an oratory competition, but my favorite teacher encouraged me. Students from neighboring schools, towns and parishes all competed. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. I was using my gift of gab and people were responding.

I won, on a local level, so I was asked to give my speech to different clubs and organizations in the area. With one wordy oration, I went from shy wallflower to the center of attention. My own tiny moment in the spotlight. The title was: In My Youth, I See… It was well thought out, well rehearsed, well memorized. Even now, I remember the first few words like it was yesterday. I can still hear my voice, so full of young, infectious optimism. The unstoppable energy that kids possess, adults remember and society tries to capture. “In my youth, I see a thousand different things.” I would take a deep, nervous breath and then the words would begin to flow. I would draw them in with my wisdom. There was no doubt in my mind the audience would see my vision by the time I was finished. It never occurred to me that they wouldn’t. I knew my words would change the world.

I ran across the photo above and for a while, I lost myself in wonderful memories. It was such an exciting time for me. I can’t believe it’s been so long since I thought about it.. giving my speech at the different community luncheons, the big bronze medal on the red, white and blue ribbon and the $100 savings bond that came with winning. I really thought I was a big deal. I’m trying to remember now, just what did my youthful eyes see back then? Before life and the harshness of reality set in. If I know me, I saw hope for an unhappy world to find a happy tomorrow. I imagine I saw the very real possibility for brothers to come together on common ground. That’s always a good place to build a happy tomorrow…on common ground.

My eyes don’t see people trying to find common ground anymore. In these, my twilight years, what I see now makes my heart hurt. I see brothers, not just hating for no reason, but actively looking for any reason to spread rage, chaos and violence. I see society turning the values of a loving home and family into something warped and twisted. I see the government we put into office, feeding off of the American people, without conscience. I see kids raising themselves with no guidance, no discipline, no structure and no respect or appreciation for anything. I see adults who have adopted the new world philosophy because going against the flow takes effort. I see what was once the greatest nation in the world, crumbling before my eyes. I see The United States of America bowing to the rampant sickness of self satisfaction, no matter the cost. In these my twilight years, I’m broken in pieces for the beautiful life I knew but my grandchildren will never know. In my twilight, I see tears.

In these my twilight years, I see a world divided by a song. A song. A song against violence has caused society to once again, draw lines & choose sides where there was no conflict to begin with. A song about the way things used to be, when things were good and people weren’t crazy, has offended those who demand the right to destroy our way of life. MY way of life. Anything that isn’t ugly and perverse. Anything that isn’t dirty and swimming in filth. Anything that doesn’t celebrate a constant buffet of gluttony and sloth. Any values I was taught as a child have now become offensive and I am the enemy because I know my gender. In my twilight, I see clearly the author of confusion and he’s having a blast at our expense.

I need to end this on a positive note, if I can find one. And I think maybe I have just the thing. It’s my saving grace every day. There’s always only been one thing that’s stronger than hate and that’s love. There’s always only been one thing that cracks open the blackness of hopelessness and that’s the light of faith. There’s always only been one person more powerful than the devil and that’s God almighty. Everything that’s happening in our world is written. Yes, it’s all already planned but that doesn’t mean we quit. We still fight the fight in front of us. We still stand for the good. We do not bend. We do not break. We do not comply. We do not lose. Remember that. We do not lose.

*cliff notes* in the twilight I see … * we need the optimist club now more than ever * common ground is a real thing. I’ll always meet you there * if you are fortunate enough to live in the USA, say thank you & mean it * my lifestyle, skin color or religion may differ from yours. I still like you. * I have a big, bronze medal that tells me people once loved optimism. we should get back to that. * the light of faith is brighter than any darkness * the good guy always wins & he does not comply * small towns have huge hearts *