Jezebel diaries * day 6 * Jezebel, her Jesus & her mojo

With slight hesitation and hanging my head a little, I begin today’s post. Picking up my pen after not writing for weeks feels strange. And not in a good way. Some things should always be as second nature as breathing. For me: praying, cooking and writing. Those things are the fabric of me. They’re my own personal Jezebel mojo. Every Jezebel has it. The something special that’s theirs alone. The head turning, heart thumping, story making, never aging, people changing magic that either brings warm light to a dark place .. or leaves a cold black hole that can never be filled. Jezebel mojo .. rare gifts borne out of the most awful circumstance.

Cooking: When I have an event for twenty or fifty or a hundred people, and I’m in my kitchen cooking.. something happens. Almost like a big, old, rusty machine slowly waking up. Ideas start firing from every crevice of my brain. Blood starts pumping so hard I hear it pounding in my ears like a bass drum. All of the sudden, I’m going through hundreds of recipes in my mind. I’m making dozens of calculations in my head. Yes.. calculations. Me. Math. In my head. And I’m loving every second. Jezebel mojo is a real thing. It’s even stronger than math. Or it’s stronger than my allergy to math.

Writing: When I’m having trouble finding words, if you can imagine such a thing, it almost feels like I’m struggling for air. It’s a kind of suffocating grayness that leaves me begging to breathe. There’s a part of me that’s unbelievably alive when I’m writing. When the ideas all hold hands and my thoughts flow together, I know I’m unstoppable. Like I finally become a hero in my own life. There’s a rush of satisfaction that takes me higher than anything I’ve ever felt. Jezebel mojo .. it’ll take your breath away.

Praying: When I jump into my day but I haven’t stopped to pray, I’m always uncertain, moody and sluggish. I know I’ll end up getting overwhelmed and wanting to quit. It doesn’t matter if I have big tasks in front of me or a couple of small ones. Nothing will be right because I left Jesus out of my equation. Such a simple thing but one of my classic character defects. I get full of myself. I try to hurry, skip a step, cut a corner. And the disastrous results are the same every time. But when I let Jesus make the plan and I follow His lead, even the unknowns don’t intimidate me. My Jesus went before me and my Jesus has my back. What harm could possibly ever reach me? And that’s the Jezebel secret. That’s the real Jezebel mojo. Total trust in the totalness of Jesus. Unshakable. Unmovable. Unending.

I hope Jezebel Diaries is bringing some little bit of fun distraction to your day. I hope it makes you think, or maybe, rethink. I hope it makes you pray. I really hope it makes you pray. The name isn’t because I’m like the Biblical Jezebel. Quite the contrary. But Christians and nonbelievers alike are so quick to throw around hurtful insults and juicy jokes full of some-truths, half-truths and non-truths. Now, thanks to the internet and the blessings of technology, thousands of people in different cities can all be misinformed at the same time. We’ve come a long way, baby.

I’ve been on the receiving end of this fun misinformation phenomenon, hence the Jezebel name. I admit it. That’s a little bit of me thumbing my nose at the ones who gave me the title. * Insert sigh here. * Sometimes I know I’m way too human. Although I’m standing, obviously still here to tell the tale, the journey didn’t happen without some deep scars. If Jezebel Diaries does anything, I hope it brings some small awareness to how cruel and unfeeling we’ve become. The casual destruction of a human being just because they’re different, is commonplace. Heaven forbid anyone not be some dull, cookie cutter version of everybody else. How did we turn into one nation under God but with an acceptable level of hatred for our brothers? Only the ones who are disposable, of course.. you know.. the lesser thans. Someone has to speak up. Someone has to still believe in the power of the good guy. Someone has to still know that one positive light can be seen through miles of ugly darkness. Someone has to be the one to bring Jesus to a self destructing society. Someone who walks with no fear. Someone with rare gifts borne out of the most awful circumstance. Someone with Jezebel mojo.

When I study my Bible, and when I write, especially lately, I gravitate towards certain characters and situations. I’m seeking comfort in my fellow square pegs who are scattered all through both the Old and New Testaments. I’m amazed and inspired every time I read about the unwavering faith of Job. How, after he lost everything, he sat alone, scratching himself with broken pottery. Everyone ridiculed him & turned on him. But he stood firm in his faith. Unwavering. And Jael. Still in the number one position of my favorites. The way she literally nailed the leader of the enemy army through his temple and into the ground, giving victory to Israel, she kind of reminds me of a somewhat twisted Tinkerbell. She flitted around like any good hostess and got him drunk while she made a plan. She was quick, courageous, strong and apparently, she wasn’t squeamish. The Bible doesn’t say so, but that says serious mojo to me.

Since every entry needs a direction, and this one is getting progressively longer, I guess what I’m trying to share with this is .. get up and go find your mojo. Whatever makes you breathe. Whatever makes you smile. Whatever makes you YOU. Then take your Jesus, take your mojo and go make a difference. The time to make a difference and the people who want to, are both disappearing. Because it’s nobody’s job, is it? But, isn’t it, really? It’s up to all of us. Jezebels know this.. it’s part of our mojo. Anybody can do it and everybody should. Be a difference. Be a leader. Be a voice. Be a shoulder. Be a friend. Be a change. Be a light for that poor lost soul. Be an unmovable truth in a world full of lies. Someone is watching. Someone will follow you. Show them your mojo. Show them your Jesus.

Jezebel diaries * day 6 * cliff notes: * jezebel mojo is a lot like having the proverbial fountain of youth. life is sweeter & you live forever * jesus gives His most beautiful mojo to His most fractured jezebels. now they’re stronger at the broken places * you know jezebel mojo is real because there’s nothing else that can make me happy to attempt math. also, it proves that square pegs can have mega mojo and still not be like the other girls * jezebel love can heal the unhealable wound, believe when there’s no possible way or turn the world on its axis. and it’s still not as powerful as the love of jesus *